Progress and Goals

I posted a new pic on my Progress page.

Do you guys remember when I said how awfully messy messy messy my closet was? Well, I cleaned it the other day… Halleluiah! My main motivation was to look for older/smaller clothes to wear, and I did! Yipee. And do you also remember what I had planned by my birthday? I wanted to reach 124 lbs on the 24th (birthday). I don’t think I’m going to get there, which is fine. I’m losing weight a bit slower than that. It’s all good mama!

Bub-byeeeee for now!

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Non-scale Victories

I usually don’t set small, incremental goals for myself. I am now. My new goal is to be 124 by the 24th (my birthday). So, 24 by 24. That means I’ll have to lose about 8 lbs. Hmm. We shall see. If it doesn’t happen and I’m doing all that I can to get there, it’s a goal I’ll have to reset. No problem (but I’m still repeating that in my head… 24 x 24).

So, NSV. I never really mentioned these either. I make mental notes for myself, but haven’t been writing them down. Here we go!

I put on my old size 3 jeans! Comfortably. omg, can’t believe that one. Thing is, the last time I wore them compared to now, my body is different. Like 12 yrs different. I’m even lower in weight, but everything is definitely distributed differently. What the heck. Must work on my super negative thoughts about aging. Don’t like it! Ok, enough of that.

I can wear a medium in Lucky Brand. Now, if you’ve ever tried sweats or tops/hoodies in that brand you probably got as frustrated as I did. ONCE in awhile they carried an XL but not too often. Again, since I was thinner when I bought some, I still have a couple of mediums. That is most definitely a NSV for me!

Those are the most notable. There are many that all relate to clothes being too big. My clothes closet is scary. V-E-R-Y scary. Like a dark cave in a terror movie. Tomorrow I’m going to bring my music, turn on all of the lights and bring a couple of garbage bags. Some to donate, some to toss. I need to find some more smaller clothes. Oh yes, through the years and dif sizes, I have/had lot’s o’ sizes. Gotta find something.

Alrighty. That’s it for tonite. OH, you know how I mentioned being on Instagram? I put up about… 20 pics. Collage-y  pics, befores & afters. Anyway, I was posting every nite, and altho I know all of this social stuff takes time to meet folks and get going, I felt a little lonely. I felt like I was just uploading all of these meaningful photos (to me) up on the web for anyone to see, and didn’t mean anything to anyone else, ya know? Yes, I know I could make my Insta private, but I elected to take them all off. Maybe another time. Think I’ll just put ’em up around here, yes? Ok then. It’s settled. Nitey-nite.

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Not Inspiring

I’ve been posting pics on Instagram lately, but goodness! It’s a full time job. I don’t know how some of you folks post stuff so often!

There are a couple of women who are totally inspiring. The message that they write with their photos is what really works for me. Of course their progress is amazing. I linked to 2 of them in a previous post. Should check them out. Found another inspiring woman who is really into lifting.

They are all very inspiring to me. Pep talks. “You can do it!” Actually, not even that simple, they are words from one person losing weight and getting healthy to another who may be struggling. That brings me to the point of this post tonite. As I mentioned recently, working on losing the extra pounds that I gained since about 5 yrs after my gastric bypass has kind of stirred up the buried eating disorder that I ‘recovered from’ almost 20 yrs ago. So when I go on Instagram, I feel like a weight-loss imposter. I don’t have pics of me sweating after 3 hrs at the gym, or pics of my watch with my running time on it, or whatever it does. I’m not a good cheerleader. How can I cheer someone on and write inspiring words o’ wisdom when I’m totally not losing weight that way. Oh, don’t get the wrong idea. I am eating meals, I don’t purge, I can honestly look in the mirror and see my body as it really is. No actual ED behavior! Just the thoughts, unrealistic thoughts about it. I wanted to clarify that.

Does that make sense?

Various weight pics

ANYway, I put up a new photo on my progress page and of course Instagram. ha! All over the freakin’ place. The cool thing about the photo is that I am wearing an old pair of size 5/6 jeans! I honestly did not think they were going to fit. whew! No more baggy-ass jeans. I’ll save those for hangin’ out and my “not-concerned-about-what-I-have-on” days, ya know?

What inspires you guys the most? Photos? Words? Magazine models… (yikes, I know…)

Ok, bedtime. Talk to you guys later.

 

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My 600 lb life

Do you watch it? My 600 lb Life on TLC? What do you guys think?

One of the first things that comes to mind for me is “There but for the grace of God go I.” That could have been me. My husband said “don’t they know they’re gaining weight?” Wait. What? My husband has been overweight. I reminded him that as you’re getting bigger and bigger, you certainly do know it. But it’s almost as if you’re powerless to stop it, right? Which for me, made me feel all the worse. Not only was I gaining weight and I knew it, I must be the worst person on earth! Good grief, how could I let myself do that??

Regarding the show, the folks are blessed with being able to have a gastric bypass (do you know whether they pay for them? or are they pro bono from the show?). So after their surgery, I’m so happy for them when they are totally into it & motivated to follow through and lose weight. Bravo! But the folks who keep making excuses… excuses why they’re not losing weight, or excuses about being able to walk for exercise. Tons of excuses. A lady named Pauline comes to mind. And Penny. So frustrating to watch them ignoring what they’re doing to themselves. And sad. :: sigh ::

I just wondered what you guys think about the show.

Other than that, I need to post a pic on my newbie Instagram page. :) It seems like such a pain in the butt to upload pics. Especially since I’m on my desktop computer all of the time (it’s my business, this is where I am most of the time) and my iphone seems so tiny. Oh well, that’s the way it is, right?

Alrighty, see you guys later! Onward!

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How soon does the scale show weight gain if I eat too much?

I babysit for my new grandson 3 days a week. Sometimes I go crazy for the carbs… mmmmm, bread! We haven’t bought bread in our house for about 5 mths. I’ve written in here how crazy I am for bread! I was eating slices of hearty bread as a snack, and way too much of it! ANYway, when I’m at my daughter’s house (who, btw, is very healthy and eats mostly unprocessed food), I usually eat an English muffin and maybe 2 pieces of toast too. I may also have 2 little Dove chocolates, and then my yogurt. Soooo, no, it’s not a ton of extra food, but more than usual and I feel guilty on my way home.

Ah yes, the useless guilt. You know after writing that it occurred to me that I haven’t felt that way in ages! And truthfully, I don’t think I felt guilty, I felt angry! Angry at myself for eating too much bread. One time I accepted it – self-talk, “Oh what the heck, I ate it. Done deal. Not going to kill me.”
To the pissed off version, negative self-talk, “Grrrr, why did I eat all of that! Piggy. So dumb, I was doing well and now I wrecked it.”

Something that I’ve been working on and beginning to have some success with, is to stop eating when I’m done with one thing. For example, after I eat a yogurt, it tastes so darn good I want another one. Now. And I went right back to the kitchen and grabbed another. Like I didn’t even pay attention to myself, just reacted to a thought. Now I actually stop and think how I’m really not hungry and how I just want another ‘cos it tastes good and it’s fun to eat. In fact, isn’t that the whole damn problem with my past eating habits? I was ALWAYS eating more even when I wasn’t hungry, and for something to do while I watched TV. I’m working on it now though. Funny, when I tell myself to wait before I automatically grab another yogurt, I do and then I wind up forgetting about it. Whoa! That’s surprising. :)

So, back to my question that I haven’t even mentioned yet. How long before the extra calories that I ate actually show up on the scale? After I googled it and read a bunch of stuff on the web, it made sense that in order for anything at all to register on the scale, I would have had to eat 3500 extra cal to register 1 lb of fat! Whew. I’m safe for now. Just have to stop with all of the extra food at Jennie’s house.

OH! I just posted my first photo on Instagram! I felt nervous, like I didn’t know what I was doing. ha. It’ll be fine I’m sure. Just being a newbie that’s uncomfortable. Wanna follow me? At least so I have 1 or 2 followers I won’t feel so naked.  :)   @ fit_kittybitty

Alrighty, time for bed. I have to get up so darn early for the little dude.
See you guys later!

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Do eating disorders ever go away?

Since I’ve been losing weight lately, I’m getting little twinges of my old ED habits. Getting on the scale and seeing a lower number is awesome… as well as the next 3-4 times that I get on the scale that same day. Feeling my ribs & hip bones… it isn’t necessarily an ED habit but it was for me. And you know what? I’m kinda happy about it. There. I said it.

Ok, I just sounded like an immature and shallow girl. Did I really mean that? Seriously, this is what I think is happening. I think that I’m *trying* to get it back. I want some of the things back, but I want to choose just the good stuff, the losing weight stuff. None of the bad things that you get from an eating disorder. Like I said on my ED page – you can’t MAKE  yourself anorexic, no matter how many thinspiration sites you visit and skinny pics you look at. POOF! No, you don’t have an eating disorder, at least not if you never had one before.

So anyway. I do know that my losing weight and feeling positive about what I’m doing does stir up some past anorexic behaviors. It’s my job to be hyper-vigilant so that I don’t fall back into it. Holy cow! It’s been about 20 yrs since I last had an active ED. Geesh, feels just like yesterday. But it’s all good, honest. I am not the same woman as I was 20 yrs ago!

While browsing around for facts or info about whether an ED ever goes away, I came across a couple of links about recovery.

“A weight loss diet carries a horrifically high risk of relapse, as does an overly rigorous exercise regime, the standard prescriptions people get from their physicians.”
~ The Daily Beast

I could not believe this article! In fact I am not directly linking to it, but I’m sure you can find it on Google. The title might give you a big hint… “5 Reasons to Date a Girl with an Eating Disorder.” Sick!

“was my metabolism forever destroyed by years of yo-yo dieting and fasting?” Courtney writes about the science of weight loss and fitness. I didn’t read a lot of her blog yet, but definitely a site I’ll go back to. ~ Barbells & Beakers

One more link that I wanted to mention the other day. Talking about Instagram and people who motivate me. There’s another woman who inspires me. Her name is Diana and she’s “Livy loves to run” on Instagram.

Alrighty, that’s about it for tonite guys. Hope y’all had a great weekend, and here’s to a productive week!
:)

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Posting progress pictures & weight.

I added a new page where I’m going to post progress pictures. I’ll be adding my current weights as well. Seems to inspire me more when it’s in black & white right in front of me, ya know? So keep checking back. *side note* I should probably have a newsletter for updates, ya think? Whatever. Just pop in once in awhile. Right?  :)
c’yall later!

Testing one of those little weight loss tracker… hang on..

Progress
hmm, I don’t get how they’re showing stuff… oh forget it, I don’t like this one.

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I weigh myself every day

Weight Varies!I never wanted to weigh myself every day. My thought was that if I felt really good about myself, why would I want to get on the scale and get a crappy number that would just make me feel bad about myself? I’m thinking that maybe I really didn’t weigh myself every day because then I’d have to buckle down and do something about it if I was gaining weight. Does that make sense to you?

Whereas now, I weigh myself every day as a barometer of how I’m doing. I don’t get too bummed out if the numbers are a little higher. That’s the beauty of doing it every day – I keep myself in check and I will eat 1 less yogurt or something. Getting on the scale and seeing a lower number is great!! That will keep me going strong for the day!

I’m also aware that in the morning I weigh less than I do late afternoon. I figured it out to be a 4-5 lb difference throughout the day. So now I don’t freak out when I see the higher weight. Like today. I got on the scale this morning and I broke the ’40s! So I did the “Yes” fist-thing and bounced away from the scale. A little while ago I got on the scale and I’m 4 lbs heavier. No prob, it’s just the way the body goes, right?

ANYway, that’s the poop for now. Nothing too exciting… actually, what’s exciting is that “Better Call Saul” premieres tonite! yahooey. My expectations aren’t too high. How can ANYthing compare to Breaking Bad?!  I do hope it’s good though!  :)

c’ya later you guys.

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Addicted to Yogurt

Y is for YogurtYou guys know how much I love yogurt, right? I usually eat about 4-5 a day. And this sounds pretty goofy, but sometimes I cover up some of the yogurt containers in the garbage can. Kind of like an alcoholic might hide the empty booze bottles, gotta hide all of the empty yogurt cups. Yes really.

Awhile ago I wrote about what I eat regularly, yogurt being on the list of course. I also made a point of saying that I thought all the fuss over Greek yogurt was silly. Well, I take that back. Yup, since Dannon came out with the Light & Fit Greek yogurt, I was hooked! Calories are much better than the other Greek yogurts. Still low(er) sugar and more protein… yummy!

OH, you know what Dannon has now? I just saw it when I was looking for a Greek yogurt link. It’s called “Dannon Light & Fit ‘Carb & Sugar Control’ yogurt. What? Here, I grabbed the nutritional label. Pretty cool, huh? BUT, with the reduced sugar & carbs comes reduced protein. Oh well. An hour ago I was so excited about this *Breaking News* yogurt story, and now I’m like, “eh, whatever.” haha, but I’m also getting pretty tired, soooo it’s off to bed I go.

I know this post sounds like a Dannon commercial! The more I wrote, the more it sounded like I was pimpin’ for Dannon. I wasn’t. I just love it.

Ok, I’m goin’ downstairs now. I found an old, comfy flannel nightgown I used to wear ALL the time. I didn’t think I had it anymore. Time to get warm and cozy and go to s-l-e-e-p.
c’yall later,

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Photos, before & after 10 lbs

After talking about a 10 lb loss the other day, I thought I’d show you the difference. You wouldn’t think *just* 10 lbs would really make a difference – at least I wouldn’t – but I can see it primarily in my face. I also realize that sometimes we’re the only ones who can really tell, probably because we live with the little bit puffy eyes, little bit thicker wrists, and maybe our pants are a little less tight. *side note* Did I ever tell you how I have a habit of circling my wrist with my other hand to see how thick or thin it is? Of course it’s a good day if my ‘pointer finger’ & thumb can touch. Kinda weird, huh? ANYway, here’s a pic from a couple of months ago and one just this Christmas.

10 pound difference in weight

And this one with my new grandson 2 mths ago.

newbaby

For myself, I love to look at pictures of people who lost weight. Like I said, this is only 10 lbs, but I feel good about it, and that’s what helps me to continue, right?

Ok, onward! Talk to you later.
:)

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